Just when you think Scottish football journalism couldn’t sink any lower, the Daily Record steps forward and says “hold my lukewarm Bovril!”
Congratulations of a Job Not Yet Done
I refer of course to The Daily Record’s decision to run a piece congratulating itself on breaking the Rangers takeover story. A story which has gone eerily quiet for a supposed “done deal”.
The lack of any meaningful update since I posted last week’s Daily Debunk didn’t stop Keith Jackson from dedicating an entire news story in the paper to congratulating himself on a job not even half done.
Look at Me! Aren’t I a Clever Boy?
Yes, the Daily Record, a paper that continues to bleed readership by the day, dedicated an entire story to one of its so-called journalists basically saying: “I got there first! That story was mine!”
So, why the sudden confidence, what new breakthrough justifies this outpouring of smugness?
Nothing much, just Keith once again saying “trust me mate, it’s happening.”
Amidst the Record Hype, Some Context
Once again however, for those with an attention span of more than a few seconds (not Keith’s target demographic, I know, but bear with me), the context clues are there. Even in this essay of self-pleasuring, swim through the verbal effluence for long enough and you’ll see Jackson has planted just enough seeds of doubt to give himself an out.
When one of his fellow sycophants asked him when this deal would be complete, Jackson replied: "How long is a piece of string in terms of how long it can take to go through everything? As we keep saying, it's a really complex deal with a number of different strands. There's all manner of complexities.”
Absolutely Not a Done Deal
“Complexities” you say? For those not fluent in journalistic double-speak, that means there’s still a lot of ground to cover if this deal is actually going to happen, and I still don’t believe it will.
Much like last week’s “Exclusive” in The Athletic, knowing the subtext behind the writer and their priorities, it’s clear this is the work of a fan who wants the deal to happen rather than an objective mind who believes it will happen.
Old Propaganda Tricks
There’s that old quote, often attributed to Joseph Goebbels, but whose true originator remains a mystery, “Repeat a lie often enough, and it becomes truth.”
1930’s Fascist propagandizing might work if your sole target is the ever eager, ever desperate, extreme elements of the Rangers support. But to the rest of us, it’s just yet another reminder of why nobody buys these rags anymore.
Maybe these Americans are daft enough to be sold on the idea of buying into this toxic basketcase of a reanimated footballing carcass. I seriously doubt it though. These people don’t become rich by being stupid, or by letting emotions get in the way of profit.
As I’ve said before, there is no valid business reason to invest in a business like Rangers. Any investment would be emotional, or extremely foolhardy.
Not a Sound Investment
Remember, these aren’t “Rangers men”. These are investors, they want a return on their money, and they want it fast. There is no way the Ibrox Imposters can provide that.
Frankly, if these investors just want to add another football club to their portfolio, then there are far cheaper, better equipped clubs out there, without the baggage of an entitled group of angry, delusional egoists in the stands demanding totally unrealistic levels of instant success.
As the saying goes, follow the money. And when you follow the money, all roads lead as far away from Rangers as possible.
Humility is a Virtue
So, let the Keith Jackson’s of this world continue to ruin their already useless reputations. I, and every other sensible football fan out there will wait and see what “due diligence” brings up.
The Daily Record, and all those foolish enough to be taken in by their spin, are, I suspect, in for a rude awakening. But rest assured, when that does happen, I won’t waste your time with an entire blog saying “look at me! Aren’t I a brilliant journalist?”
Humility is an essential part of being a writer. Unfortunately it seems Jackson and Co didn’t get that memo.